Homepage copywriting improves when you stop writing and start cutting. Most people treat the page as a form to fill: headline, blurb, three sections, a contact line, publish. Read it back and nothing on the page is wrong. Nothing on it is memorable either.
Finding words was never the problem. Deleting them is. Every line you remove feels like admitting that part did not matter, and your page gets around fifteen seconds. Each sentence you keep pushes another one out.
Three passes, half the words. Here is the method, and why the contact rate usually moves up afterwards.
## Why longer pages get read less
Visitors do not read top to bottom. They scan for two or three seconds, find the phrase that concerns them, then decide whether to settle in. The more text sits on the page, the lower the chance that phrase gets found.
Concise homepage text works not because brevity is magic, but because it means the filtering already happened. A blurb packed with adjectives hands that filtering to somebody who is short on time, and somebody short on time closes the tab.
## Pass one: delete the adjectives
Open the page and mark every word like professional, extensive, diverse, or unique. Then delete the whole sentence instead of swapping in a synonym.
Those words carry no information because anybody could write them. The sentences that separate you always carry specifics: how many clients, which number moved where, what kind of work you take, what you refuse. Whatever survives this pass is usually the half that was doing the talking.
## Pass two: delete the repetition
English and Chinese versions often are not translations of each other so much as the same thing said twice. There is a quieter kind too: the headline says "brand designer" and the first line of the blurb says "I am a brand designer."
Go sentence by sentence with one question: if this line disappeared, would a visitor know one fewer thing. When the answer is no, cut it. Most pages lose a third here and read no thinner for it.
## Pass three: delete the self-explanation
"I have always been passionate about design" and "I have drawn since I was small" are sincere when written and noise when read. Visitors want to know what you can do, not how you got there.
The substitution is simple: trade the feeling for something you did. Enjoy drawing becomes delivered three cover drafts last week. Same intent, and only one of them can be checked.
## Before and after
| Spot | Before | After |
|---|---|---|
| Blurb | A passionate, diverse designer with a unique eye | I rewrite pre-launch landing pages for independent brands |
| Piece caption | A high quality page built carefully in Figma | Conversion moved 1.8% to 3.4% in two weeks |
| Contact | Feel free to reach out anytime | Email before Wednesday, I answer the same day |
| Sub-headline | Committed to delivering excellent solutions | (deleted) |
One note on copy editing portfolio work: captions are where adjectives pile up fastest, because a caption looks like an introduction when it is actually evidence. One fact per line beats one elegant line.
## FAQ
- Will cutting half make the page feel thin? Read it out loud once. Thin is what you hear when sentences only restate each other. Information-dense reads quick, not sparse.
- Should English and Chinese versions match in length? Not word for word. Match the order of information. Chinese runs shorter for the same content, so counting words across languages only encourages padding.
- How do I know whether the edit worked? Watch one number: how many visitors reach the contact block. Ignore the rest for the first two weeks.
- The whole page needs it. Where do I start? First screen only. Positioning line, then blurb, then contact. Lower sections can wait.
## Ten minutes tonight
Open the page, delete every adjective, then read the whole thing once on your own phone. Whatever you have to push past to reach the contact line is the next thing to cut.
Those three passes are the whole method, and running them on dynamic-profile.shop rebuilds nothing: themes change, your words stay. Start from the [home page](/), check section order against [the five sections every homepage needs](/blog/homepage-5-must-have-sections), and once the sentences are short enough to still sound like you, read [tone and personality on a homepage](/blog/tone-and-personality-homepage).